


For Her

by LilRexsoka



Category: Star Wars: Ahsoka - E. K. Johnston, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, I am really getting into the angst stuff, I hope, PTSD, Star Wars - Freeform, after order 66
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23550865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilRexsoka/pseuds/LilRexsoka
Summary: Rexsoka One-shot: Captain Rex is not the same man after the events of Order 66. He has a lot of regrets, but protecting Ahsoka Tano was not one of them. She is the last thing Rex has, and it will take some time for him to heal.
Relationships: Captain Rex and Ahsoka Tano, Rexsoka - Relationship
Comments: 7
Kudos: 99





	For Her

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is really angsty. I hope I managed to create a somewhat realistic PTSD type thing. I know that people react differently to things like that. This is almost like an improved version of my last One-Shot, but I am really in love with this after Order 66 stuff. Another idea I came up with but was suggested by lovely people who know what real prompts look like. Enjoy, again.

Captain Rex had spent his life in war, fighting for the Republic that had created him. He had never asked questions; what they were fighting for, why the War had been created. The answer seemed simple; for peace. 

For peace, he had slain entire armies of droids, battled against Sith more powerful than him, and killed those who rose against the Republic rule and allied with the Separatists. It was his purpose; the very reason for his creation. 

So he destroyed. His army of brothers, all like him, followed their commands. They completed their orders, unquestioning and loyal. Even after the turn of the traitorous Jedi Pong Krell, with his loyalties shaken, he followed his General, followed his Commander. It was what clones were bred to do. 

There were clones who had strayed from the strict eye of the Republic; Slick, Cut Lawquane, even his own men when faced with the murderous leadership of General Krell. Even himself. 

Questions of their true sense of loyalty came when Tup strayed and murdered a Jedi General, seemingly unaware of his actions. That led to Fives’ reveal of the chips, apparently responsible for some secret plan. Rex had never learned of the truth before his brother had been murdered to hide the truth from everyone. All he knew was that the chips could cause terrible things to happen. 

Removing his did not take persuasion. Kix, a loyal medic and follower of the Captain, was more than happy to take out both of their chips. Curious in nature, he began his own investigation, fueled by the panic from their late _Vod_. 

Then Kix had disappeared. There had been no final message to his Captain, no apologies or explanation. Rex’s immediate conclusion was he had been slaughtered, just as the clone who had inspired his research. Kix had known the risks; his trust in his brother had led him on that path. 

Rex could only guess what would happen to him when others found he had removed his chip as well. He hid the scar behind his bucket and his thin, blonde fuzz, barely sleeping at night in fear of what he would face. 

He would never have imagined what the higher-ups had been hiding in those chips until he received the order. Rex, at first, had been shocked. The Jedi were traitors? How could that be possible? Then, it sank in. 

Ahsoka. The Togruta in front of him, stalking lightly around the ray shield and the man trapped inside like a predator sizing up their prey. She was no longer a Jedi. He wouldn’t have to kill her! Even if she had been, there was no way his men would have taken her down! She was loyal and trustworthy. No Order could force the men to betray their Commander! 

Then, the clones paused. Their aim was steady as they raised their weapons toward the unsuspecting Togruta. A thin chant reached the Captain through the air fizzing with the ray shield’s energy; _Good soldiers follow orders_. 

Rex was brought back to the battle above Ringo Vinda. Blaster fire everywhere. A strangled cry of a Jedi General being mercilessly gunned down by her own trooper. Fives’ ragged scream for his brother. The struggling clone, Tup's eyes wild, whispering the same words. 

_They are going to do it. They are going to shoot Ahsoka._

“Stand down!” Rex screamed at his troopers, raising his own DC-17 blasters in mock threat. “I order you to stand down, soldiers!” 

Ahsoka was aware of the circumstances now. She defensively raised her lightsabers, her large eyes widening even further. “What are you doing?” 

Somehow, Rex knew they would not stand down. Deep inside his mind, he connected the puzzle pieces. His men were not in control. The same thing that happened to Tup was happening to them, but this had been planned. _I’m sorry, Fives._

In rapid succession, all six troopers were dead, blaster wounds smouldering in their buckets. Rex’s heart lurched sickeningly, then broke as he saw the Commander’s expression; cold, wild fear and confusion. 

“Rex…” Ahsoka’s voice was strangled, her body deflating. Maul, still trapped behind her, let out a rough laugh. He did not speak; he just continued to chuckle deviously. “What was that?” 

“They couldn’t help it,” The Captain rasped in answer, placing his smoking guns back into their holsters. “The Order… they were not themselves, Ahsoka.” 

\---------- 

She wanted to come with him. Ahsoka would not let the Captain leave alone, despite his protests. He did not want to leave without her either, not in the slightest, but he did not deserve her companionship. He had failed to help his brothers avoid the terrible Order. He deserved to die alone, to wander the galaxy alone, wondering, _How could I have saved them?_

Then she had kissed him. Ahsoka had argued for him. She wished to travel with him. She had tried to explain that it was not his fault, that all she wanted was to have someone by her side. She wanted him with her. His heart broke all over again. 

He could not deny her. Together, as one, they found an abandoned ship among the wreckage of Mandalore, leaving both the Republic and the former Sith lord behind. Maul was the least of their problems, though Rex knew Ahsoka felt guilty. 

Now he was alone in the small quarters of the ship, excused from her side with a proclamation of his exhaustion. The Captain was extremely tired, but he would not be sleeping. 

His frustrations, fury and grief built up, he let out a hoarse scream and flung the blasters that had killed his brothers to the ground, all gun safety forgotten. His body shuddered harshly at the feeling of the smooth handles and triggers, the sounds of the muffled brothers as they were shot echoing in his mind. Defeated, the Captain sunk to the ground. He barely noticed the Togruta as she rushed to his side and held him close. 

That had been more than a year ago. Now they had settled, for the moment, on Alderaan, generously offered shelter by Senator Organa. Rex had not understood why Ahsoka had stuck with him, despite all of his hard times recovering from the shock of the Order. He had been nearly powerless to heal her own scars, save for the nights when she awoke, shivering and soaked in a cold sweat from nightmares, only to have the welcoming arms of her Captain surround her. 

“Hey, Rexster,” Ahsoka purred, entering their room in the impressive palace, her arms clutching a crate. Rex turned from his spot at the balcony overlooking the beautiful city. He admitted to himself that the sight of the Togruta brought him more joy than the gorgeous sights spread out below him. “Guess what I found?” 

“I don’t know, what have you brought home now?” Rex teased lightly, sitting down at the couch. The crate was placed on the table in front of him, Ahsoka puffing a slight sigh of effort. 

“Home?” She asked, her lekku curling delightedly. 

Rex reached out to bring her to the spot beside him, tracing a gentle touch down the white markings on her cheek. “Home is wherever you are, ‘Soka.” 

Her smile was genuine and affectionate, the same smile that had brought happiness to him during the War. “I will show you what I brought home after I tell you some news.” 

“Good or bad?” Rex inquired, glancing puzzlingly at the crate. “I would prefer good news right now.” 

Ahsoka sighed sadly, leaning into his shoulder. “Depends on how you take it.” 

Rex had heard plenty of bad news. He was not sure whatever the Togruta could tell him would be anything compared. “I will support you. Whatever you have to say.” 

The sienna-skinned woman was silent for a long moment, tracing patterns with her finger on the clone’s arm that was draped across her lap. “I was talking with Senator Organa. I want to join the Rebellion.” 

Rex stiffened, his stomach dropping. “The Rebellion? I thought we were done fighting wars for other people!” He gazed into her stricken, round eyes and knew that she had already made up her mind. 

“It’s not for any one cause,” Ahsoka argued, sitting forward so she could grip one of his hands between hers. “I am doing this for the galaxy. No one is benefitting from the Empire’s rule, only the ones who control it.” She tilted her head, lekku spilling over her shoulders lazily. “You understand, right?” 

The clone was frozen in place, his mouth working, but no words were formed. He knew Ahsoka enough to understand that she was doing what she thought was right. She had always been like that, sympathetic and caring, much more mature than in their days of the Clone War. As well, he had promised to support any decision she would make. Eventually, Rex sighed and dipped his head. “If that is what you want to do, I won’t stop you.” 

Ahsoka’s lips turned up in another smile before she leaned forward, sweeping her Captain into an embrace. “I knew you would support me, Rexster.” The Togruta leaned back and swept to her feet, patting the crate that she had heaved onto the coffee table. “I brought these for you. I thought you might like to see them.” 

Rex inched forward to the edge of the couch expectantly as Ahsoka pried off the top and set it to the side, peering into the container. She trilled a small, longing hum and lifted the first item up for the clone to see. “I found this on the ship that we had come in on. It had been sent for parts, but the mechanics saved the items inside.” 

Rex reached out and received the object she offered; his helmet from the Clone War, still decorated with the blue Jaig eyes and tally marks. Turning it around in his hands, he ran his fingers over the small scratches and scrapes on the plastoid. “Huh. It’s been a while since I’ve seen this ol’ boy.” 

“I had wondered what you had done with your blasters,” Ahsoka commented as she pulled the weapons free, examining them a moment before holding them out for the Captain. When he did not take them, she frowned. “Rex? Is everything okay?” 

_No. It is not._ Those blasters had been responsible for the deaths of his brothers; and almost the woman he had loved, if Fives had not risked everything. “I- I can’t-” 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Ahsoka gasped, hiding back in the crate, her face falling. “I had forgotten.” 

Rex did not like the pained look that he had caused her. Desperate to give her hope, he pushed his bucket aside and lifted his hands out. “No, it’s fine. I can hold them.” 

Slowly, the Togruta pulled the blasters back into view, carefully placing them in his awaiting palms. Rex inched his arms back, attempting to ignore the cold sweat that had gathered along his back and nausea that had crept into his stomach. _I can do this._

It seemed to be working before he instinctively curled his fingers around the blasters and rested them above the trigger. Images flashed before his eyes; of the same scene, but with his brothers falling, a distraught Togruta collapsing with a smoking hole between her bright eyes... 

“No! Stand down!” Rex choked out before flinging the weapon across the room, where it hit their bedpost and skittered across the marble floor. 

Ahsoka quickly swept to his side, letting his weight collapse into her. She rested his unshaven head in her lap, running her gentle touch over her skull and whispering calming words. “It’s okay, Rex…” 

“It’s not okay, ‘Soka,” the clone rasped, his voice taut and shaking as he attempted to push down his sobs. “I almost lost you… if I hadn’t removed my chip… if I hadn’t been quick enough… they would have killed you. I could have killed you, and I wouldn’t have had a choice!” 

“But you didn’t,” The Togruta murmured softly, stroking his jaw. “I am here, and always will be.” 

Rex was quiet for another moment, lost in her touch. “Don’t fight in the Rebellion. I can’t lose you.” His chest hurt at the thought of the evil Stormtroopers stunning his Togruta with no remorse before bringing her to their ominous ships and torturing her until she could no longer breathe. 

Ahsoka sighed quietly, trying to push away her own tears. “You won’t. I have to do this, Rex. But I promise that I will be safe.” She lifted his chin gently, ghosting a smile as she gazed into his face, his own desperation and grief reflected in her sky-blue eyes. “I can take care of myself.” 

Rex struggled to a sitting position, rubbing the back of his neck, embarrassed by his outburst. “I know. I’m being selfish. I just- I love you more than anything.” 

The Togruta hopped to her feet, skipping across the room before leaning down and scooping something off the ground. The clone watched her curiously as she returned to his side. 

“Will you come with me?” She asked suddenly, holding one of his discarded blasters out to him, her voice hopeful. 

Rex hesitated, stammering. _I can’t. Not after all I have been through._ However, a smaller voice asked him, _not even for her?_ “Ahsoka, I’m not sure I could return to the war.” 

Determined, the ex-Jedi crouched on the couch beside him. She lifted one of his arms with her free arm before placing the blaster in his grip, her palm pressing the blaster between them. “I need you with me, Rex. I don’t care how long it takes for you; weeks, months, even years.” 

The Captain turned his gaze from the blaster sandwiched between their hands to the loving face of his oldest ally, his closest friend. His life. He knew it would not be easy to return to his ways; the scars driven into him were deep, and he coped differently from the Togruta. But he would try. For her.


End file.
